Letter of Instruction: The Document Your Will Doesn't Replace

Your will is a legal document with one purpose: directing who inherits what. It is not designed to tell your family where the house key spare is, what your funeral preferences are, how to reach your accountant, or how to access your password manager. For all of that, you need a letter of instruction — an informal document with no legal force but enormous practical value.

The letter is the bridge between your legal plan and your family's first 30 days after a death. Here is exactly what belongs in it, what to leave out, and a template structure you can adapt today.

What a letter of instruction is — and isn't

A letter of instruction is a non-binding document containing practical, personal, and procedural guidance for the people handling your affairs after death or incapacity. It is not a substitute for a will. It does not direct inheritance. It does not name guardians. It cannot revoke or amend the will.

What it does do is collapse the family's logistical learning curve from weeks to hours. The will says "my executor shall distribute my estate as follows." The letter of instruction says "the original will is in the home safe, the combination is in a sealed envelope with our attorney, and the executor backup phone number is on the fridge."

The legal world calls this a "personal property memorandum" when it lists specific items going to specific people (which some states do enforce), but most letters go far beyond that.

What to include

### Document locations

Where everything is, physically:

• Original will and any codicils
• Trust agreement (if any)
• Durable powers of attorney (financial and healthcare)
• Advance directive / living will
• Birth and marriage certificates, passport, military records
• Property deeds and vehicle titles
• Insurance policies
• Safe combinations and safe deposit box keys
• Backup storage of digital documents

Be specific. "In the home office" is not enough. "In the second drawer of the green file cabinet, under 'Estate'" is what your family needs at 11 p.m. on the day they get the call.

### Professional contacts

A phone-and-email directory of everyone the executor will need to reach:

• Estate attorney
• Accountant or CPA
• Financial advisor
• Insurance agent(s)
• Primary care physician and specialists
• Funeral home (if pre-arranged)
• Banker and any private bankers
• Business partners and corporate attorneys

Include who they are, what role they play, and when to call them. The executor often spends their first week looking up phone numbers that should have taken five minutes to compile.

### Financial overview

Not statements — a summary index:

• Every bank account, brokerage account, retirement account, with institution and last four digits
• Beneficiaries currently named on each
• Recurring income sources (pension, social security, rental income)
• Recurring obligations (mortgage, autopays, subscriptions)
• Outstanding loans receivable (money others owe you) and loans payable

The full deep dive lives in your family emergency binder. The letter is the index that points the executor to it.

### Digital access

The password manager master access (via the manager's emergency-access feature, plus a sealed envelope with the recovery key). Email account access. Two-factor authentication backup codes. Cryptocurrency seed phrase locations (never the seed phrase itself in the letter). Social media legacy contact settings. See our password and account handoff guide for the technical setup.

### Funeral and disposition preferences

This is the section the family will read first — often within hours of the death — so make it easy to find. Cover:

• Burial vs. cremation
• Funeral home (pre-arranged or preferred)
• Cemetery plot if owned
• Religious service preferences
• Music, readings, eulogist suggestions
• Open vs. closed casket
• Obituary draft or outline
• People to notify outside the immediate family
• Charitable donations in lieu of flowers

The National Funeral Directors Association publishes pre-need planning checklists if you want a more detailed prompt.

### Personal items and sentimental bequests

If your state recognizes personal property memoranda referenced in the will, certain personal items can be legally distributed through the letter (jewelry, art, collectibles, photographs, family heirlooms). Check with your attorney on whether your state allows this.

Even where not legally binding, listing specific personal items prevents the post-funeral conflicts that sour family relationships for decades. "Grandmother's pearls to Sarah, Dad's watch to Michael, the photo album to Lisa" defuses arguments before they start.

### Pet care

If you have pets:

• Who takes them (with the agreed-upon caregiver's contact)
• Veterinarian
• Diet, medications, and routine
• Pet trust details if you've established one

The ASPCA's pet planning resources include sample care instructions you can adapt.

### Family messages

A letter of instruction is a natural place for personal messages — not your full life story, but the things you want said. A few paragraphs to each family member, a few key memories, a few practical pieces of advice. Don't try to write your eulogy here, but a brief personal note in the letter is often the most valued single page in the document.

For a longer message, see our ethical will and legacy letters to grandchildren guides.

### Special instructions

Anything else specific to your situation:

• Business succession instructions (who runs the business while it's being wound down)
• Specific creditors who should be contested rather than paid
• Ongoing commitments you want honored (a charity pledge, a board position)
• Family secrets the executor needs to know to handle the estate (an unknown child, a hidden business interest)

If there are sensitive items, consider a sealed envelope addressed to a specific person rather than including everything in the main letter.

What to leave out

The letter is not the place for:

• **Legal directives.** Inheritance, guardianship, executor appointments all go in the will. Contradictions between letter and will produce litigation; the will controls.
• **Passwords themselves.** Use a password manager with emergency access; reference the manager in the letter, don't list passwords.
• **Cryptocurrency seed phrases.** Same logic — reference the secure location (a fireproof safe, a steel plate, a bank deposit box), don't write the phrase itself.
• **Tax advice or strategy.** Tax decisions are for the executor and CPA based on conditions at death.
• **Long personal histories.** The letter is operational. Save the autobiography for a separate document.

Template structure

A clean letter of instruction has the same structure as a well-organized briefing document. Use headers, use bullets, keep paragraphs short. A workable template:

1. Cover page with date, your name, who the letter is addressed to (typically the executor by name plus "and family") 2. First-action checklist for the first 48 hours 3. Document locations section 4. Professional contacts directory 5. Financial overview index 6. Digital access section 7. Funeral and disposition preferences 8. Personal items / sentimental bequests 9. Pet care 10. Family messages 11. Special instructions 12. Signature, date, and witnesses (not legally required, but useful for authenticity)

A 6–10 page letter covers most families well. Update annually around tax time.

Where to store it

Same as the family emergency binder — in a fireproof home safe with multiple family members knowing the location, plus a secure digital backup. Our family vault stores both with credentialed access for designated family members at the right time.

Do not store the letter in a safe deposit box as the primary copy — many states freeze deposit boxes at death pending court order, which delays access to the very document you need.

When to share it

Two schools of thought:

• **Sealed until needed:** Letter sits in the safe; the executor knows it exists and where, but doesn't read it until they need to.
• **Read together during life:** The letter is reviewed with the executor and family during life, so they can ask questions and you can clarify.

The second approach catches errors and ambiguities while you can still fix them. The first approach preserves privacy. For most families, a hybrid works: share the structure and key locations during life; keep sensitive personal messages sealed until death.

What VoiceWill™ does

VoiceWill™'s voice intake builds the letter of instruction as part of the same conversation that drafts your will. You speak the contents in your own voice; we transcribe and structure them into a printable letter, then store it in your family vault with versioning and credentialed family access.

The bottom line

A will handles the legal questions. A letter of instruction handles the human ones. Two evenings of writing produces a document that will save your family weeks of confusion and, often, family conflicts that would otherwise persist for decades. The legal work is the smaller half of the job. The letter is the larger half.